Material vs Experiential

Something I’ve realised through podcasting is that generally speaking one of the first questions we ever ask someone when meeting them for the first time is ‘What do you do?’

It sounds crazy that we distill people down to their occupation when there is so much more to life than just working. However we do this almost every day - our impressions of people are based on their look, what they wear, their tone, body language etc.

I was having a conversation with a friend of mine and we started discussing the reasons why society values the material things when each person has been forged through the summation of their experiences.

Now bear in mind, this is just my take on things, but I’m curious if anyone else has ever spent time thinking about this?

I think there’s a variety of reasons why we focus on material things when we meet people - they’re easy to see and perhaps we use this initial filter to try and identify if a person has some kind of utility for us or something we can learn from them.

We see someone going through some hard times living on the street and it’s easy to dismiss them - they have no ‘value’ to add to us, as opposed to we meet someone who looks like they’ve got their life together and are kicking goals - we would want to gravitate towards those people, hoping that through some kind of osmosis we will end up getting our lives together and kick our own goals.

I remember pretty clearly when I left my career in the Automotive industry and the kinds of phone calls I’d have with clients who basically just wanted to know who could help them now that I wasn’t there.

It was a pretty clear reminder for me that a lot of our relationships are predicated on usefulness (or based on my ‘position’) as opposed to genuine concern.

However I think we’re missing a bigger opportunity, as the value of a person is not in material things but in their perspectives - the lenses they view the world and the experiences that have forged these lenses.

The issue with this, is that’s it’s not really convenient (and maybe sometimes socially awkward) to ask people not ‘what they do’ but ‘who they are’.

It’s one of the reasons I’m grateful for the podcast because I really get to try and understand a person's perspective and how their experiences have shaped their thinking.

Even the act of reflection and discussion provides and experience to reflect and update our own perspectives.

I know my own worldview has changed so much over the years through the opportunity to have deeper discussion, so I hope this makes you question what it is that you value, enjoy!